20 things I've learned in the past 10 years

20 thing’s I’ve learned about life in the past 10 years

A couple of days ago I drank a cup of Yogi tea and got the quote “Experience will give you the power and confidence to be you”. Instead of just tossing the cute little tea bag wisdom quote away, I saved it and gave it some thought. And ta-da, this blog post was born.

One of the cool things about this mysterious thing we call life is that we are continuously learning new things. When I think back about how I used to be in my early twenties (or even my later twenties, or actually even last year) versus the person I am today, boy, have I changed. And this change is a result of experience and life lessons (read: pain, devastation and lots of tears).

I mean when you think about it, through eons of time people have always respected the elderly for their wisdom. So I guess there is some kind of truth that wisdom comes with age, and no, I am NOT comparing myself to an elderly person. I’m no Yoda and I am still young (I keep telling myself that) but I simply am sharing what I’ve gathered this far.

Okay, so I’m not 20 no more, but neither am I am middle aged. I’d say I am a young woman, not completely lost anymore, with some wisdom under my belt and with a few life lessons in my back pocket. I think moving to the other side of the world in my early twenties, starting a couple businesses and getting my heart broken has helped me grow. Add a line of bad decisions and falling one my face a couple times and voila this was my recipe to learn. Some of us learn these lessons at an early stage in life and have a lot more to deal with from an early start. I do consider myself lucky because my life has been somewhat sheltered, at least growing up in Finland. Everyones path is different and even though we often learn through experience and wisdom is something we gather through time, age is not always the measurement of wisdom or knowledge.

The list consists of a number of realizations that I’ve gained through the ups and downs, curves and cut backs of life and perhaps things I did’t know in my early twenties. I guess what I am trying to say is, if you’re in your early twenties the odds are you’re going through the fire and trying to figure shit out, or at least I did. … so here ya go a list or a roadmap to life hacking. Oh and as a side note, even though I’ve learned all of the points listed below, doesn’t necessarily mean that I comply (insert emoji with hands to the sides). So on with the list:

Trees are considered wise.

“Be like a tree.
Stay grounded.
Connect with your roots.
Turn over a new leaf.
Bend before you break.
Enjoy your unique natural beauty.
Keep growing.”

-Joanne Raptis

1. The most important thing in life is your health

When I say health I don’t mean you not being sick, I mean your wellbeing, your mental health, your physical health, your emotional health, your mind and your body from a holistic perspective. Everything else is trivial. You might argue, “no, but my family is number one for me”. Well, homie, if you’re sick AF you can’t be there for your family can you now. So this is the foundation of your life. YOU. Take care of yourself and treat yourself and your body nicely. Make yourself happy and spend time with just YOU. The most important relationship you’ll ever have in your life, is the one you have with yourself. Work on it. Constantly. Do things for yourself. Whatever it is you like, do it. Sleep enough, eat enough, exercise, travel, go out to nature, do whatever ticks you. Do YOU and take care of yourself. Also remember that you have to communicate your limits when it comes to work and relationships, if you don’t then your health is at stake.

2. Learn to say sorry

You’re human. Unless you’re a unicorn or an alien (it’s possible some might argue) you make mistakes. And like I’ve said in a previous blog post the odds are you aren’t an enlightened being, so admit your mistakes, take responsibility where you know you’ve fucked up and say “I am sorry”. These three little words mean a lot and build bridges instead of burning them. That being said, only say these words if you truly mean it. If you, however honestly feel like you did nada wrong then stand your ground (next point) and take no BS.

3. Kindness is gangster but take no SHIT

There are a lot of assholes out there and many ways to deal with them. Kindness is gangster and you can try to kill them with kindness, but frankly sometimes you just gotta stand up for yourself and tell them off. People that are rude just to be rude or people that put other people down to feel good about themselves aren’t clearly happy in life. Their behavior towards you is a reflection of that. It might be hard to remember this when someone is being offensive and often we either attack back or just sit quiet. I can’t say that I’ve fully mastered this lesson just yet, it’s more of a work in progress. I also sometimes struggle with boundaries, but I do recognize the importance of learning to say NO and defending yourself. Just like you practice anything else you can start practicing this skill. Next time someone is rude AF to you, you can actually reply in a nice way that that’s unacceptable and that you don’t put up with that kind of shit.

4. Travel is the best investment

It is. Try it yourself. I don’t regret any trips I’ve ever made in my life but I do regret spending too much money on fast fashion or stupid shit. A trip can be a life long memory where as a cute dress is just that, a cute dress.

5. Don’t react right away, there’s a reason they say sleep on it

Yup, it’s true. Sometimes when you get triggered you tend to want to just get your opinion thrown out right back at at whatever it is. This however is not always the best idea as you’ll probably say shit you don’t mean and adding some calmness and stepping back will always give you a better perspective and a smarter answer.

6. You are the author, producer and master of your life, make shit happen

You are the master of your life and you’re responsible for making yourself happy. If you hate your job or if you are in an unhappy situation or relationship, you’re the only one that can change that. I am not telling you to quit your job and to just lye on a tropical beach and soak in the sun (or I mean, actually you can), but to start by deciding what kind of life you would like to have and start working towards it step by step. Rome wasn’t build in a day and neither is your dream life (in most cases). Commit to your vision, commit to your goals and learn the difference between a dream and a goal (read number 19).

7. We are all unique and different

Yup, we all hold our own pair of goggles through which we look at life. We all have our own perspective and view things differently. We differ in personalities and are built differently from different value systems to different interests, hobbies, issues, insecurities, paths, pasts, ways of communicating, joking or even kissing. We also have different ways of showing love and love languages. Learn yours and learn your partners, if you’re unfamiliar with the concept expect to be mindblown.

8. Everything in Moderation, even moderation

This quote I learned from a dear friend of mine and he learned it from Laird Hamilton, a big wave surfer. I mean if you think about it, it makes perfect sense. Everything in moderation, even moderation. Everyone can’t be on their top game 100% of the time or be super healthy all the time, sometimes you need to eat that cupcake, sometimes you just need to chill on your couch and do absolutely NOTHING. And sometimes you need to stop moderating everything and go crazy. Yup, there you have it, one of the best quotes I’ve ever heard. If you have another good one, feel free to drop it in the comment section.

9. When there is a will, there is a way

Sure is true. If you truly want something, I mean if you TRULY want something, you will find a way to make that work wether it is something you have to do yourself or it involves other people. I also love the saying “The squeaky wheel gets the grease”, which falls somewhat in the same category as it has to do with PERSISTENCY, but I guess this variation is more about complaining about something and getting a result that way. Either way, you will make anything (yet not everything) happen if you truly want it.

10.TRUST YOUR GUT, Everything is ENERGY, trust the vibes you get

Very true. If something feels off, it most likely is. Trust the vibes you get around certain people. Trust that hunch feeling, that little whisper inside of your head, because you already know the answer when you become quiet enough it’ll be loud and clear.

11. No one knows your body better than you

When someone says “you need to exercise at least X times a week” or “you should avoid coffee at all costs” might be true for them, but not for you. Learn to know your body, learn to know what your needs are when it comes to sleep, rest, exercise, diet, chill time and even socializing. Like I mentioned in number 7, we are all unique and you’re the boss for your body, so if you don’t already, learn no know yours cuz no one knows better than you what works for you.

12. Comparison is the thief of joy

No further comments. It truly is. And social media is a good channel for just posting the pretty pictures, but god dammit, they’re just pictures. Do not compare yourself to someone else’s gallery.

13. Learn to laugh at your own mistakes

Because it makes it more light and is a great practice for self acceptance. We all make mistakes and learning to laugh at them will make life so much lighter.

14. Forgiveness is for yourself

This one has been a big one. Forgiveness is hard especially when someone has hurt you so so deeply. However, holding anger and resentment towards another person will not bring you the peace that you deserve. Forgiveness is simply that, letting go of the negative feelings so that you can feel free. This does not mean you have to accept the wrongdoings towards you, just release them. Everyone has their own personal karmic energy and will at some point experience a result from their actions. You cannot control their actions or their decisions, but what you can control is your feelings.

15.What you resist, persists

Life will hurt. The odds are you’ll get hurt, one way or another. You’ll deal with betrayal, grief, loss, pain or disappointment. Some of them will be big and others small, minor curveballs. Whilst dealing with your issues can be pretty upsetting, as human beings we’re really good at amplifying them and getting stuck in the injustice of it all. Unfortunately, we tend to draw out on our own suffering, rather than being able to move on. By accepting the inevitable pain, struggles and unwanted events that at some point will unfold in our lives, we actually choose acceptance.

16. Courage does not include no fear

Courage is feeling the fear and doing it anyway.

17. The more you feel gratitude, the more it will expand

Energy flows where intention goes. The more you focus on something the larger it will grow and expand. The more gratitude you feel, the more you’ll attract other things to be grateful for.

18. distance means nothing when someone means so much

You might grow apart or you might move to the other side of the world. But if you’re lucky, you’ll get to keep a handful of the really special ones even if you don’t see each other as often as you’d like. Also, sometimes distance means nothing, when someone means so much. I miss many of my friends so so much and even if I won’t see them in a while, I know that with some of them it doesn’t matter at all. We ‘ll pick up right where we left it.

19. A dream is just a dream, a goal is a dream with a plan

So you know that dream you’ve had in the back of your head for a while now. Start working towards it. Make an action plan and with baby steps you can start today. Even if you’re busy with life or your current job, you can still start. So do it, because this life is meant to be lived.

20. Love is the answer

It is the solution in this random and harsh world. Express it freely. Show it to the ones you love. It is the reason for our existence.